The Schwarzenegger edition

‘I’ll be back’ he famously said (The Terminator, 1984)

Which has lead to one of the most quoted lines in cinematic history

Along with, ‘Frankly my dear I don’t give a damn’ (Gone With The

Wind, 1939)

And ‘Play it again Sam’ (Casablanca, 1942)

And ‘Oops Linda, wrong hole’ (Deep Throat, 1972)

Older…..certainly

Sillier…..happily

Rustier…..this is what happens when you are left out in the rain

Wiser…..arguably

Greyer…..definately

Naughtier…..obviously

Back…..indisputably

Giulietta is still with him (Bless)

The G-man is now a Grandfather (known as G predictably)

So get on board the ‘Love Train’ (The O’Jays, 1972) and…..

‘Party On’ (Wayne’s World’, 1992)

Watch this space

Peace & love & Groovy times

G

Advertisements
Standard

The Good, The Bad and The Badante

groovers offside

You should be wondering what a badante is…..

Would you let your daughter sit on a badante’s knee ?

Would you leave one alone with your elderly parents ? ?

The answer is yes, yes and yes

In La Dolce Vita the Italians aren’t embarrassed by the old folk

They don’t believe in abandoning them in soulless ‘old people’s

homes’…..

…..essentially death’s waiting rooms

And where these homes exist they are typically situated in the

centre of towns

And not in some out-of-town, out-of-the way corner where we

can’t see them

Old folk (and we all get old eventually) are always a part of

the family in Italy…..

…..and families prefer to remain together

This is where the badante comes in…..

The badante is the person (male or female) that you see all over

Italy walking arm in arm with an old person or pushing them along

in a wheelchair

View original post 289 more words

Standard

The Good, The Bad and The Badante

You should be wondering what a badante is…..

Would you let your daughter sit on a badante’s knee ?

Would you leave one alone with your elderly parents ? ?

The answer is yes, yes and yes

In La Dolce Vita the Italians aren’t embarrassed by the old folk

They don’t believe in abandoning them in soulless ‘old people’s

homes’…..

…..essentially death’s waiting rooms

And where these homes exist they are typically situated in the

centre of towns

And not in some out-of-town, out-of-the way corner where we

can’t see them

Old folk (and we all get old eventually) are always a part of

the family in Italy…..

…..and families prefer to remain together

This is where the badante comes in…..

The badante is the person (male or female) that you see all over

Italy walking arm in arm with an old person or pushing them along

in a wheelchair

The badante is a live-in carer

The badante is also a foreigner working to get his / her residence

papers so that they have health and social security benefits

The badante has everything to play for and everything to lose…..

…..so, Yes

Your old folk and your daughters are going to be safe

For a little spending money, a roof over their heads, great food,

a bit of time off and the opportunity to go ‘legit’ in the land

of ‘milk and honeys’ these foreigners have become the silent

army that helps keep Italy a kind of paradise on Earth

Meanwhile, gramps (nonno in Italian) and granny (nonna in

Italian) can continue to live at home…..

…..plus they have someone to look after their needs…..

…..cooking

…..companionship

…..driver

…..etc etc

The Italian State even recognises the importance of this job and

pays £700 – £800 a month towards the cost

In this simple way everyone’s a winner

1.The nonni (plural for grandparents) are happy, at home and still

a part of Italian life

2.The Italian State doesn’t have to fund millions of expensive care

homes

3.The foreigners are providing a valuable service and eventually

become tax payers and full members of society

Now I know that God was an Englishman (E.M Delafield) …..

I know that Einstein was a German…..

I know that the Americans put a man on the moon (apparently !)…..

I know that Errol Flynn was ‘part human, part donkey’…..

But the Italians have managed to work out how to look after their

elders, to control illegal immigration and to avoid busting the

Italian exchequer

Way to go, boys !

I know where I want to grow old and irascible ! ! ! ! !

G.

Standard

The ‘Morte per Gentilezza’ edition

The rough translation of this is…..

‘Death through Kindness’

The Italians have big hearts: Simple fact of life !

This tradition goes back centuries and its most

interesting manifestation was in the ‘scuole’ of the

Renaissance period

In essence, they provided a wide variety of services

based loosely on the premise that good deeds in this

life might fast track the deceased to a heavenly

retirement

Examples of this are such as:

Food for the poor

Funerals for those without means for a good send-off

Management of hospitals for the poor poorly !

Etc

Basically, what the State provides today in first world

countries

Fast forward to today and the 21st century ‘Dolce Vita’

The Italians have 7600 kilometres of coastline ! ! !

With that much sea frontage the Italians have proved to

be master fishermen

Though nowadays they are as likely to be pulling an economic

migrant / refugee out of the water as a tuna !

These desperate folk have usually paid a king’s ransom for

a one-way ticket to a people trafficker

Simply translated this is the old ‘shit or bust’ philosophy

There are no return tickets available for sale !

So having pitched up in the land of milk and honeys (Sophia

Loren et al) the usual form is to apply for the right to stay

RESIDENCY !

LA RESIDENZA !

Applicants are informed by post that their application has been

successful…..

…..or not !

Those unsuccessful for reasons unearthed during the discovery

process like say…..

…..murder convictions in the country of origin

…..sexual crimes

…..criminal activity

…..etc etc etc

…..are simply asked to leave the country and (presumably)

return from whence they came

Errrrrr…..

HELLO…..

…..they have no money !

…..there are no ‘reverse people-traffikers’

…..they are probably ‘wanted’ back home

So they just stay…..

…..there are no deportation procedures here ! ! ! ! !

So with no papers, no right of abode and no legitimacy

…..no right to work (IF ANY WORK EXISTED !)

The path to criminality is fairly short

The women can easily resort to prostitution to make a

living…..

…..and where would the prostitutes be without a pimp

So quite by magic, the men find work !

To be fair to the Italians they try really hard to be

kind and to help these foreigners integrate…..

…..my cousins volunteer their time to teach them the

lingo

But the end result is cultural dilution rather than

cultural diversity

The Italians have a wonderful culture and a belief system

that is centred on the family, the church, food, wine,

football and sex

Long may it live but it is fast becoming a critically

endangered species ! ! !

Pace,
The G-man

Standard

The Right Time edition

groovers offside

Lisa Stansfield, ‘This is the right time’, 1989

This post revolves around the question of when is the

right time…..

…..is there a right time ?

…..is it the right time when it’s the not the wrong

time ?

STOP ! ! ! ! !

The Italians don’t do philosophy…..

Not for a very long time at least…..

…..essentially they packed up that game after Thomas Aquinas

popped his clogs in 1274

Since then there have been a few pretenders like Umberto Eco,

born 1932 and died 2016, but nothing serious

The answer to the question is simple…..

AND ALL ITALIANS KNOW THE ANSWER

…..every Italian graduates from the University of Life with

honours in their cultural philosophy

The answer is…..

IT’S ALWAYS THE RIGHT TIME ! ! ! ! !

So that’s the difficult part resolved

Next question: IF it’s always the right time…..

…..THEN FOR WHAT

So now…

View original post 352 more words

Standard

The Right Time edition

Lisa Stansfield, ‘This is the right time’, 1989

This post revolves around the question of when is the

right time…..

…..is there a right time ?

…..is it the right time when it’s the not the wrong

time ?

STOP ! ! ! ! !

The Italians don’t do philosophy…..

Not for a very long time at least…..

…..essentially they packed up that game after Thomas Aquinas

popped his clogs in 1274

Since then there have been a few pretenders like Umberto Eco,

born 1932 and died 2016, but nothing serious

The answer to the question is simple…..

AND ALL ITALIANS KNOW THE ANSWER

…..every Italian graduates from the University of Life with

honours in their cultural philosophy

The answer is…..

IT’S ALWAYS THE RIGHT TIME ! ! ! ! !

So that’s the difficult part resolved

Next question: IF it’s always the right time…..

…..THEN FOR WHAT

So now we arrive at the heart of Italian cultural condition

because…..

It’s always the right time for anything that makes you feel

GOOD

EXCITED

PROUD

SEXY

If we consider dress then we are talking about ‘La Bella

Figura’

This well-known expression refers to the Italian yen for

always looking the best you possibly can

Italians don’t do dress-down Friday…..

…..they do dress-up every day of the week

Italians don’t do pyjama days…..Hell NO !

What if someone pays you a surprise visit ?

Italians don’t claim advanced age as an excuse for

abandoning dressing-up…..it goes on long after they have

to get other people to help them dress-up

Let’s consider food…..

Italians work on the assumption that everyone is hungry all

of the time

Now since you should not eat without something to ease it

down with, liquid will always be offered with food

Or often the Italians reverse the thinking…..

…..if you bump into somebody they will usually invite you

for an aperitivo because it’s polite but also…..

…..because everyone has room for something tasty and an

aperitivo comes before food

You are probably getting the idea…..

MEET, EAT, DRINK !

….in whichever order you like

Lastly, and equally importantly let’s consider sex

The human species is (apparently) the only species on the

planet that can procreate at any time and (usually) derive

pleasure from it

Other species are limited to mating when the female comes

into season and even then they just go through the motions

that nature dictates

UNLUCKY THEM

Not so, Homo sapiens, we like (usually) to do it all the

time

On that basis the Italian is simply obeying nature but with

typical Italian flair, originality and doggedness (and lies)

If the Americans are the great ‘can do’ society the Italians

are unquestionably the great ‘any time’ society…..

…..which neatly explains why the the US economy is the biggest

in the world and the Italian economy was last seen sliding

rapidly downwards past the number 8 position…..

…..the Italians, however, are having much more FUN

I know which lot I would prefer to spend a night with

G.

Standard

The Italian Fast Food edition

groovers offside

Fast food is not something you readily associate with the Italians

Well, you would be wrong

The Italians do do fast food…..

…..they just do it differently

Their way: like driving, like loving, like practically everything

So let’s start with the obvious…..

La Pizzetta

Take a pizza, shrink it, serve it in a bakery and…..

Ecco !

Six inches (diameter) that will fit in your mouth in bite-sized

pieces

These are universally popular but especially with kids…..

…..who like to watch their mamas go potty as they dribble tomato

topping down their clothes

Bassangeles ? Check 1

Then there is…..

Il Panzerotto

This little cutie looks like an English Cornish pastie but it’s not

It’s deep fried and filled with the usual suspects:

Mozzarella, prosciutto, salami (normally spicy) etc

It comes from Puglia (south) and with a health warning…..

…..when they fish these little puppies out of the deep frier…

View original post 335 more words

Standard