The Fud edition

You may well be wondering what ‘fud’ is or whether

the G-man is a cacographist ?

But don’t waste your time looking up the meaning of a

word you will probably never see again in your life

However, ‘fud’ is food

Well, it is if you are a Geordie !

The G-ster was chatting (chattare in Italiano) with a

mate of his, Geordie Mick, in the main square of Bassangeles

‘Mate’, he said, ‘All the Italians talk about is fud’

‘Fud, fud, fud, fud and bloody fud’

‘They are obsessed with the stuff’

Erhhhhh !

Noting the perplexed faces around him Mick offered to

translate from Geordie to English

‘Food,’ he annunciated

‘Ahh,’ we sighed

Well, it’s true, I realised

Just as the English obsess about the weather so the Italians

are besotted with food

They use food as a way of making conversation…..

…..casual or otherwise

…..it is absolutely essential to their existence

But whereas the English greet each other with such tried and

tested comments on the weather like…..

‘It’s nice weather for ducks’

and

‘It’s brass monkeys out there’

The Italian is more likely to say…..

‘Have you had any good porcini (wild mushrooms) yet ?’

‘What did you have for pranzo (lunch) ?’

The difference being that in England the weather is used

as an ice breaker, as a conversation starter…..

…..everyone is comfortable with asking or answering this

tried and tested opening gambit

However, in La Dolce Vita, this is just the beginning of

a detailed culinary episode…..

…..the entire conversation will often revolve around ‘fud’

So returning to the porcini question…..

…..this may evolve into a complex discussion that debates

the climatic conditions necessary to get a good crop

…..or the relative merits of the imported variety compared

with the local

…..and on and on and on and on

Oh, and everyone in Italy is an apparent expert or at least will

come across as one

‘Fud’ is more than just a passion here !

That said the level of detail that the ordinary civilian can

command in the world of ‘fud’ is truly mind-boggling

Now there is a saying in Italy that is also true in many other places

Namely, that no one can cook like mamma

Every Italian male will swear blind that his mamma is incomparable

in the kitchen

If you consider that the average Italian male lives at home until

he is about forty

Yes, 40 !

Then it is easy to see that Guido is not making an idle boast…..

…..he lives the boast ! ! ! ! !

Finally, after years of courting and of mamma training the

prospective bride in the art of the kitchen…..

…..and only when Guido is certain that the drop-off in standard

between mamma’s and Mrs Guido’s culinary production will be

small and temporary at worst does…..

…..he take the plunge and walk the girl down the isle

In the romcom starring Matthew McConaughey from 2006 called,

‘Failure to Launch’

This situation was seen as the exception to the rule

In La Dolce Vita, this is the RULE

Bless them, their mammas and their tummies

God bless ‘fud’

G.

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