You may well be wondering what ‘fud’ is or whether
the G-man is a cacographist ?
But don’t waste your time looking up the meaning of a
word you will probably never see again in your life
However, ‘fud’ is food
Well, it is if you are a Geordie !
The G-ster was chatting (chattare in Italiano) with a
mate of his, Geordie Mick, in the main square of Bassangeles
‘Mate’, he said, ‘All the Italians talk about is fud’
‘Fud, fud, fud, fud and bloody fud’
‘They are obsessed with the stuff’
Noting the perplexed faces around him Mick offered to
translate from Geordie to English
‘Food,’ he annunciated
‘Ahh,’ we sighed
Well, it’s true, I realised
Just as the English obsess about the weather so the Italians
are besotted with food
They use food as a way of making conversation…..
…..casual or otherwise
…..it is absolutely essential to their existence
But whereas the English greet each other with such tried and
tested comments on the weather like…..
‘It’s nice weather for ducks’
‘It’s brass monkeys out there’
The Italian is more likely to say…..
‘Have you had any good porcini (wild mushrooms) yet ?’
‘What did you have for pranzo (lunch) ?’
The difference being that in England the weather is used
as an ice breaker, as a conversation starter…..
…..everyone is comfortable with asking or answering this
tried and tested opening gambit
However, in La Dolce Vita, this is just the beginning of
a detailed culinary episode…..
…..the entire conversation will often revolve around ‘fud’
So returning to the porcini question…..
…..this may evolve into a complex discussion that debates
the climatic conditions necessary to get a good crop
…..or the relative merits of the imported variety compared
with the local
…..and on and on and on and on
Oh, and everyone in Italy is an apparent expert or at least will
come across as one
‘Fud’ is more than just a passion here !
That said the level of detail that the ordinary civilian can
command in the world of ‘fud’ is truly mind-boggling
Now there is a saying in Italy that is also true in many other places
Namely, that no one can cook like mamma
Every Italian male will swear blind that his mamma is incomparable
in the kitchen
If you consider that the average Italian male lives at home until
he is about forty
Yes, 40 !
Then it is easy to see that Guido is not making an idle boast…..
…..he lives the boast ! ! ! ! !
Finally, after years of courting and of mamma training the
prospective bride in the art of the kitchen…..
…..and only when Guido is certain that the drop-off in standard
between mamma’s and Mrs Guido’s culinary production will be
small and temporary at worst does…..
…..he take the plunge and walk the girl down the isle
In the romcom starring Matthew McConaughey from 2006 called,
‘Failure to Launch’
This situation was seen as the exception to the rule
In La Dolce Vita, this is the RULE
Bless them, their mammas and their tummies
God bless ‘fud’