The Margate-sur-Mer edition

groovers offside

‘Oh I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside’, Mark Sheridan, 1909

If you can’t whistle along to this tune you probably weren’t

born in Blighty…..

…..like 11.4932% of the population of Margate

The G-ster was out and about and getting on down in said spot

at the weekend

Now…..

Time for a little history lesson !

Margate’s recent past has been a bit of a roller coaster…..

It all began when a Russian immigrant called Vladimir Raitz

invented the ‘package holiday’ in the 1950s…..

Suddenly the bustling charms of English seaside towns began

to pale when compared to the possibilities of the…..

The Spanish Costas (and certain sunshine)

The French Riviera (and guaranteed topless babes)

The Greek Islands (never ending sun, sea, sex and well, that

was enough !)

Throw in a Full English Breakfast (a ‘flingo’) or two and the

Brits were never going back to their own…

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The Margate-sur-Mer edition

‘Oh I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside’, Mark Sheridan, 1909

If you can’t whistle along to this tune you probably weren’t

born in Blighty…..

…..like 11.4932% of the population of Margate

The G-ster was out and about and getting on down in said spot

at the weekend

Now…..

Time for a little history lesson !

Margate’s recent past has been a bit of a roller coaster…..

It all began when a Russian immigrant called Vladimir Raitz

invented the ‘package holiday’ in the 1950s…..

Suddenly the bustling charms of English seaside towns began

to pale when compared to the possibilities of the…..

The Spanish Costas (and certain sunshine)

The French Riviera (and guaranteed topless babes)

The Greek Islands (never ending sun, sea, sex and well, that

was enough !)

Throw in a Full English Breakfast (a ‘flingo’) or two and the

Brits were never going back to their own version of a resort

As a result Margate was abandoned ! ! ! ! !

It would appear that the allure of a donkey ride just wouldn’t

swing it for the modern British holidaymaker

Guest houses with sea views stood empty, the B&B business

went into a death dive

FLASH !

Then there was a lightbulb moment somewhere

FLASH ! FLASH ! FLASH !

Some genius decided that the empty rooms could be used to

house the following groups:

Ex-offenders

Asylum seekers

Vulnerable adults

Social welfare claimants

Hmmmmmmmmmmm

So Margate was deliberately turned into a human dustbin

There were some seriously stupid people running Margate

You don’t believe me ? ? ?

Then why would you twin Margate with…..

…..and I am not making this up…..

Astana in Kazakhstan

Yalta in Crimea

Kosovo (actually a whole country that nobody in their

right minds would want to go to)

Now fast forward to today !

Margate has just been voted ‘Britain’s Best Seaside Town’

AMAZING

TURNAROUND EXTRAORDINAIRE

It is now…..

HIP !

Well, it certainly has a classy, sparkly art gallery…..

The Turner Contemporary

It has a gem of an Art Deco railway station designed in 1926

by Edwin Maxwell Fry (and now deservedly Grade 2 listed)

It has the smallest pub in the country, The Little Prince,

that has a maximum capacity of six (not counting the barkeep)

It has Dreamland (miles and miles of smiles), a pleasure park

based on early twentieth century parks in Coney Island, New York

‘And The Beat Goes On’, The Whispers, 1979

However, for those with a nostalgic turn of mind you will still

be able to enjoy…..

…..rolling acres of pink, corpulent, tattooed flesh

PLUS CA CHANGE !

G.

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The Festival edition

The G-man went retro last weekend…..

The ‘A New Day’ three-day festival at Mt Ephraim, Kent

Actually, it was a case of retro into prog (rock)…..

…..Don’t ask me what ‘prog’ is…..

…..I was only there for the sex, drugs and rock n’ roll

‘Rave on !’, Buddy Holly, 1958

Yeah baby ! ! ! ! !

The last time the Groover went festival-ing was 1974…..

…..and everything that has happened since then can be

measured in inches……………………. !

…..roughly 6 inches on the waistline ! ! ! ! ! !

…..and roughly 2 inches off the hairline ! !

Oh yeah, there’s a small matter of a solar panel too

My oh my

It’s a good job he’s not a sensitive soul

‘Soul Man’, Sam and Dave, 1967…..

…..is probably more his speed

Nonetheless, there was rock…..

Focus

Curved Air

Jethro Tull

The Enid

Etc etc etc

Drugs ?

Well, there was some very good beer but that wasn’t

what we went for in ’74 !

Sex ?

Chance would be a fine thing…..

Whatever happened to free love ? ? ? ? ?

I guess it’s no longer free and it wouldn’t feel much

like love…..

I still remember the days when it would all be over in

90 SECONDS !

…..and even that wouldn’t be a record ! ! !

What used to be a Usain Bolt dash for the line…..

…..is now a Mo Farah marathon…..

…..with a very real possibility of not going the distance !

Anyway, the kittens of ’74 and now fully grown cats

Back in the 70s we stayed on our feet and jumped and

gyrated around

Fast forward to 2016 and the average ageing hipster was

comfortably seated in a fold up chair…..

…..back then our heads were protected from a blazing

sun by thick heads of lush hair…..

…..now we wear straw hats rather than hair !

Back then the boys would put the girls on their shoulders

to give them a better view

But…..

Back then the girls didn’t wear knickers to festivals…..

…..and hence the enthusiasm of the boys to offer to put

the girls up top

Hmmm

I would think that even if the panties were whipped off to

try to tempt the old boys…..

…..discretion would be the better part of valour…..

…..and they would politely decline…..

…..unless there was a hoist handy ! ! ! ! !

Ah well, this was indeed festival-going

Just not as we remember it !

I think I’ll stick to my memory chest ! !

Peace man

G.

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