The Italian Loser edition

This edition is about old men, young (ish) women

and the one thing an Italian never needs to be

doubtful about…..

…..Food !

So last weekend the G-man shimmied into Venice to

go to church…..

…..Well, quite a few actually

…..but not to pray for forgiveness (far too late)

…..but to worship at the altar (literally) of the

Renaissance painters…..

Seriously !

Why pay to go to a museum and pay to see paintings that

weren’t meant to be in a museum to begin with ? ? ? ? ?

So if you find yourself in Venice….

‘Get Smart’, 1965-1970 starring Don Adams !

Go to the Chiesa San Pantalon and stare in astonishment at

the baroque ceiling by Fumiani…..


Or got to the Chiesa dei Carmini and wonder at the altar pieces

by Tintoretto, Conegliano, Lotto and works by Veronese and Ricci


Anyway, I digress but you get the idea

As I wandered randomly through the Jewish Ghetto (in Italian they

call this to ‘andare a zonzo’)…..

…..I spied a very feminine gondolier standing beside a gondola

…..WHOA !

‘I say’, I said, ‘Why are you wearing a red stripy top ?’…..

…..’Is that because you’re a bird ?’

Unruffled by my cockney interlocution she replied…..

‘We are allowed to on weekends and feast days’

‘Ahh, interesting’, I replied, ‘You’re a rare breed, I mean a lady

captain of a pointy black boat’

‘You are right there, Sir. There are only two of us out of 500

gondolas in Venice’

Intrigued… say the least !

‘And were you the first or the last to take up said profession ?’

‘The second’ she replied

‘Shame’, I said, ‘I would have hired you but I only back winners’

She almost laughed…..but not quite ! ! ! ! !

Today, I nipped into a bar for an ice cream to find the place

full of ‘old farts’ playing cards…..

…..That’s fine as it stands…..

…..but not one of them had so much as a coffee between them…..

…..and there were about 30 of them !

Now I understand if the missus is watching the soaps and you want

to do something a bit more intellectual but surely you can’t sit

in a cafe and play cards for free…..

…..somebody has to pay the rent

…..the lights

…..the toilet rolls




This is Italy where even being wrong you can be right

It’s a great place to be a loser


So back to food…..

I’m not quite sure how to express this…..

First, go to the website of this amazing restaurant…..

Nestled on a hillside on the outskirts of Bassano this place




…..the best

…..regional cuisine serving seasonal food and specialising

in meat…..



If you have to eat in heaven I expect these people will be

running the kitchen




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