The ‘I Died And Went to Heaven’ edition

This post is not about the ‘S’ word…..

…..which is hard in a country where Sex permeates


The Italians didn’t invent sex…..

…..they just think they did !

Which reminds me of an unusual experience on Sunday…..

They say truth is stranger than fiction…..

…..NOBODY could have made this one up ! ! ! ! !

The G-man flaneur-ed his way round Venice at the weekend

…..and met a very unusual member of the species…..

…..Homo Sapiens…..

Outwardly, said gentleman looked Japanese / Korean / Chinese

He spoke Italian and English and lived in the Jewish ghetto

But it turns out that he was born in Brazil (talks Brazilian)

… Japanese immigrants (doesn’t talk Japanese)

…..and is married to an English woman who like him is an


Sensing my confusion / incredulity he hastened to make light

of the muddle that was his life…..


‘I like to say’ he said…..

…..’That my heart belongs to Brazil’

…..’My blood belongs to Japan’

…..’and my stomach belongs to Italy !’

I laughed…..

He chuckled infectiously…..

…..but I was dying to ask if his manhood belonged to Blighty

…..although it clearly did because he kept bigging his

missus up ! ! ! ! !

I demurred

I know…..but it was early and my blood was still slightly

curdled from Saturday night’s (over) indulgences

Back to the subject of this post and the Jap / Brazzer / Itie’s

third and most important claim

Italy = Food Heaven

Last week I dined in Al Cappello in Breganze

I sat beside an open fire with forty pigeons being spit-roasted

‘Torresani allo Spiedo’ is the house speciality

Well, I was warm…..the fire was like a bloody furnace but

…..I ducked the pigeon…..

…..and ate maccheroncini with mascarpone and asparagus (pasta)

…..followed by tagliata di manzo al rosmarino (beef)

…..finished with tiramisu al amaretto (pud)

…..washed down with ‘Brentino’ by Maculan (red)

If music be the food of love (Big Bill, Twelfth Night)…..

…..then what do you say if food is greater than love…..

…..better than sex !

…..C’mon, Bill…..

…..I need some help here…..

Anyway, I can tell you without hesitation that the greatest

topic of conversation amongst Italians is not


nor football

nor religion (that was a long time ago)

nor money (unless you are an Italian American)

It’s FOOD !

…..and with good reason

…..because apart from the obvious and the inevitable…..

… need to eat to survive and once your playing days

are over don’t expect the equipment to work

Food is simply better here than anywhere else on the planet

…..and in Al Cappello it’s even slightly better than that !



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