The one night stand is practiced all over the world…..
…..and celebrated in music…..
‘December, 1963 (Oh What A Night)’ by Frankie Valli &
The Four Seasons (1975)
Now Frankie’s real name is Francesco Castelluccio and he
was born in the US to Italian immigrants…..
….. so this cat is well placed to sing about short term
love affairs, Italian style
If truth be told there’s actually not a great deal of
difference between the Italian’s approach and that of the
rest of the world…..
…..The essential difference being that the Italian will
ALWAYS say ‘I love you’ and…..
…..those more cautious / reserved / realistic rest-of-the-
worlders will usually say ‘I think I love you’
The logic is pretty clear if you are an Italian…..
…..You tell the girl (or boy) you love them…..
…..and if the girl (or boy) appears to think you are
trying it on…..
…..you just tell them you believe in love at first sight
while you continue to fiddle with their bra clasp…..
The important point is to NEVER hesitate
Now the rest-of-the-worlders have no proper rejoinder to
Basically, if you are not sure you have no where to go except
Allora (Now in Italian), the great thing about one night
stands is you don’t have to be great…..
…..It’s all in the travelling…..
…..The arriving is when you start leaving ! ! ! ! !
Just try to remember their name since numbers eventually
get confusing !
Another form of one night stand takes place every day of the
year in St Mark’s Square, Venice
Same principle, same everything…..
The ‘Grand Cafes’ are Caffe Florian and Grancaffe Quadri…..
…..both woo the tourist with live ‘elevator’ music
…..both are recommended by every guide book on Venice
…..both come with a cautionary note regarding cost in
the guide books
…..but like a father warning his daughter against Italian
lotharios, words of warning are often not enough
You see the devil is in the detail (or the small print in
The menus on display do show the prices but also ‘scream’ at
you that service is included…..
…..so you miss the little footnote that each person has to
pay a 6 euro music charge
So let’s take a theoretical modern family that decides to
take the St Marco plunge and do the tourist thing and take a
seat at one of these establishments…..
…..Father, mother, teenager and two youngsters…..
…..Say a prosecco each for the parents, a coke each for the
youngsters and a cappuccino for the teenager…..
…..Hardly a snip at 100 euros
…..That’s 100 euros !
It doesn’t feel possible…..
…..but it is !
Budget blown !
Dad never saw the 30 euros music charge coming ! ! !
So the connection between the Italian lover and the Grand
Cafes of St Mark’s Square should be clear…..
…..Neither ever expects to see their conquests again ! !
Whilst there is no known solution to a well-oiled Italian
lothario whispering ‘I love you’ to your daughter / sister
there is actually an answer to the grand larceny perpetrated
by the Grand Cafes…..
…..Just walk over to the Museo Correr
…..nip up the steps to the Cafe Correr
…..sit at one of the window tables looking up St Mark’s
Square to the Basilica…..it is undoubtedly the best view
in the entire world
…..save yourself the saccharine classics being churned out
by bored musicians
…..and all this for about 35 euros
Job done !