The Italian One Night Stand edition

The one night stand is practiced all over the world…..

…..and celebrated in music…..

‘December, 1963 (Oh What A Night)’ by Frankie Valli &

The Four Seasons (1975)

Now Frankie’s real name is Francesco Castelluccio and he

was born in the US to Italian immigrants…..

….. so this cat is well placed to sing about short term

love affairs, Italian style

If truth be told there’s actually not a great deal of

difference between the Italian’s approach and that of the

rest of the world…..

…..The essential difference being that the Italian will

ALWAYS say ‘I love you’ and…..

…..those more cautious / reserved / realistic rest-of-the-

worlders will usually say ‘I think I love you’

The logic is pretty clear if you are an Italian…..

…..You tell the girl (or boy) you love them…..


…..and if the girl (or boy) appears to think you are

trying it on…..

… just tell them you believe in love at first sight

while you continue to fiddle with their bra clasp…..

The important point is to NEVER hesitate

Now the rest-of-the-worlders have no proper rejoinder to

their counterparties

Basically, if you are not sure you have no where to go except


Allora (Now in Italian), the great thing about one night

stands is you don’t have to be great…..

…..It’s all in the travelling…..

…..The arriving is when you start leaving ! ! ! ! !

Just try to remember their name since numbers eventually

get confusing !

Another form of one night stand takes place every day of the

year in St Mark’s Square, Venice

Same principle, same everything…..

The ‘Grand Cafes’ are Caffe Florian and Grancaffe Quadri…..

…..both woo the tourist with live ‘elevator’ music

…..both are recommended by every guide book on Venice

ever written

…..both come with a cautionary note regarding cost in

the guide books

…..but like a father warning his daughter against Italian

lotharios, words of warning are often not enough

You see the devil is in the detail (or the small print in

this case)

The menus on display do show the prices but also ‘scream’ at

you that service is included…..

… you miss the little footnote that each person has to

pay a 6 euro music charge

So let’s take a theoretical modern family that decides to

take the St Marco plunge and do the tourist thing and take a

seat at one of these establishments…..

…..Father, mother, teenager and two youngsters…..

…..Say a prosecco each for the parents, a coke each for the

youngsters and a cappuccino for the teenager…..


…..Nothing fancy

…..BUT !

…..Hardly a snip at 100 euros


…..That’s 100 euros !

It doesn’t feel possible…..

…..but it is !

Budget blown !

Dad never saw the 30 euros music charge coming ! ! !

So the connection between the Italian lover and the Grand

Cafes of St Mark’s Square should be clear…..

…..Neither ever expects to see their conquests again ! !

Whilst there is no known solution to a well-oiled Italian

lothario whispering ‘I love you’ to your daughter / sister

there is actually an answer to the grand larceny perpetrated

by the Grand Cafes…..

…..Just walk over to the Museo Correr

…..nip up the steps to the Cafe Correr

…..sit at one of the window tables looking up St Mark’s

Square to the Basilica… is undoubtedly the best view

in the entire world

… yourself the saccharine classics being churned out

by bored musicians

…..and all this for about 35 euros

Job done !



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