The Italian Seduction edition

Seduction is an essential ingredient of the Italian condition

Almost as though there is an extra ‘seduction gene’ that

they got and the rest of us missed out on

The trouble began in the eighteenth century with the birth of

Casanova in 1725 and came to a head in 1740 with the

intervention of two sisters (aged 14 and 16) who provided the

big C with his first sexual experience which turned out to be

a double-header

The jammy bugger ! ! ! ! !

The course of the big C’s life was sealed by this lucky

start…..

…..as he had begun, so he would continue ! ! ! ! !

Before he died in 1798 he wrote his memoirs that ran to 3500

pages and chronicled the conquests of approximately 4261 men

and women ! ! ! ! !

He wasn’t fussy…..

…..any port in a storm !

Basically, his 73 years on this earth was one giant ‘sex fest’

Thus the die was cast…..

…..and every Italian man since has sought to rival the master

Their’s is essentially the ‘Martini’ approach to seduction…

…..’any time, any place, anywhere’

Such as the pick-up artist who plied his trade in the local

spa in Bassangeles…..

Nobody wants to be hit on when you are having your bikini line

waxed…..

…..It’s not cool, Guido ! ! ! ! !

My personal favorite is the experienced practitioner who had

done all the ground work…..

…..the dinner

…..the lunch

…..the references to the rich and famous (Clooney)

…..the hints at an aristocratic background

…..then discreetly popped a viagra pill

…..then claimed a minor ailment requiring the need to rest

while the pill took effect (about an hour)

Finally…..

Ready…..

He moved in for the kill…..

But on this occasion there was clearly nothing doing…..

…..the victim wasn’t succumbing to the tried and tested

formula

Exasperated he put his head in his hands and gave it his

final shot…..

…..’Well, how about it?’ he whispered

‘How about what?’ came the reply

Game over !

I have to admit that the Italian language is definitely

a seduction aid…..

Think about it for a second…..

There is nothing romantic about a Yorkshire man mouthing

‘Cum ‘ere, luv’

On the other hand in Italian…..

‘Vieni qui, amore’

…..whispered into her ear…..

…..has often been successful in producing the desired

effect

So old Casonova has set the bar impossibly high but generations

of Italians since his time have tried to scale the dizzy

heights

Indeed, so ardent is the Italian desire to claim historical

precedent for their ‘amoral’ predispositions that some even

claim it actually goes back to Roman times…..

…..Wrong !

Yes, the Romans did rape and pillage but it would be stretching

incredulity to argue that rape is some kind of…..

…..fast-track seduction

A last thought…..

It’s a good job seduction is not an Olympic sport because

it would be pretty boring watching Italy take gold, silver and

bronze every four years

So there you have it…..

Italy…..!…..

…..a nation of men ruled by their phalluses

…..and hostage to the memoirs of a dandy from Venice

Bless

G

Advertisements
Standard

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s