Seduction is an essential ingredient of the Italian condition
Almost as though there is an extra ‘seduction gene’ that
they got and the rest of us missed out on
The trouble began in the eighteenth century with the birth of
Casanova in 1725 and came to a head in 1740 with the
intervention of two sisters (aged 14 and 16) who provided the
big C with his first sexual experience which turned out to be
The jammy bugger ! ! ! ! !
The course of the big C’s life was sealed by this lucky
…..as he had begun, so he would continue ! ! ! ! !
Before he died in 1798 he wrote his memoirs that ran to 3500
pages and chronicled the conquests of approximately 4261 men
and women ! ! ! ! !
He wasn’t fussy…..
…..any port in a storm !
Basically, his 73 years on this earth was one giant ‘sex fest’
Thus the die was cast…..
…..and every Italian man since has sought to rival the master
Their’s is essentially the ‘Martini’ approach to seduction…
…..’any time, any place, anywhere’
Such as the pick-up artist who plied his trade in the local
spa in Bassangeles…..
Nobody wants to be hit on when you are having your bikini line
…..It’s not cool, Guido ! ! ! ! !
My personal favorite is the experienced practitioner who had
done all the ground work…..
…..the references to the rich and famous (Clooney)
…..the hints at an aristocratic background
…..then discreetly popped a viagra pill
…..then claimed a minor ailment requiring the need to rest
while the pill took effect (about an hour)
He moved in for the kill…..
But on this occasion there was clearly nothing doing…..
…..the victim wasn’t succumbing to the tried and tested
Exasperated he put his head in his hands and gave it his
…..’Well, how about it?’ he whispered
‘How about what?’ came the reply
Game over !
I have to admit that the Italian language is definitely
a seduction aid…..
Think about it for a second…..
There is nothing romantic about a Yorkshire man mouthing
‘Cum ‘ere, luv’
On the other hand in Italian…..
‘Vieni qui, amore’
…..whispered into her ear…..
…..has often been successful in producing the desired
So old Casonova has set the bar impossibly high but generations
of Italians since his time have tried to scale the dizzy
Indeed, so ardent is the Italian desire to claim historical
precedent for their ‘amoral’ predispositions that some even
claim it actually goes back to Roman times…..
Yes, the Romans did rape and pillage but it would be stretching
incredulity to argue that rape is some kind of…..
A last thought…..
It’s a good job seduction is not an Olympic sport because
it would be pretty boring watching Italy take gold, silver and
bronze every four years
So there you have it…..
…..a nation of men ruled by their phalluses
…..and hostage to the memoirs of a dandy from Venice