The Black Hole of Hernia Bay edition

The G-man pulled back the curtains this morning

…..and spying blue skies

…..immediately slipped into his shorts and set out for his

constitutional pant down to the sea

He had barely gone 400 metres when he was hailed by

a foreign female voice…..

‘Sir, sir, excuse me’

Quick check…..

Female…..check

Foreign…..check

Possible damsel in distress…..check

He hove over…..

Sitting in a car and looking like she wanted to destroy the

item in her hand, she said…..

‘I am looking for Leeds Castle but this (object in hand) GPS

has made me go round Herne Bay five times. It won’t let me

get out of Herne Bay ! ! ! ! !’

Hmmm…..

I leant in the car window and couldn’t resist saying…..

‘Has it occurred to you the universe is trying to tell you something?’

I think she had left her sense of humour in Canada because she

didn’t laugh !

The G-man did his bit for international relations and set her on her

escape route out of Hernia Bay

So back to the title of this post…..

The title refers to the Stephen Hawking type of black holes rather

than the Calcutta variety

Actually the word HOLE would do nicely

Enough said !

Incredibly, in 1883, Herne Bay was considered by the government

to be the ‘healthiest watering place in England’

Its only economy then was tourism or the ‘healthmaking’ industry

as it was known at the time

Even more incredibly, the first reference to an individual going to

the coast for health reasons (sea air and sea bathing) dates back

to 1540…..

…..Yes, you guessed it…..

…..Said person, Judge Finiox by name, went to Herne Bay

So in the immortal words…..

‘Where did it all go wrong?’

Nowadays, Hernia Bay boasts more tattoo parlours per capita

than any other town in the country ! ! !

It boasts more mobility scooters per capita than any other

country on the entire planet ! ! ! ! !

Oh…..it does have one G-man

But not for long because this time next week he will be doing a

Peter, Paul & Mary

Confused ?

‘Leaving on a jet plane’ was a 1969 hit for the group who

couldn’t come up with a proper name for themselves so

they just went by their christian names, Peter, Paul & Mary

Watch out Bassangelese ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

G

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