It is often said that some things simply deserve
to be written
This is one of them !
As the title suggests it is going to concern the
efficacy and varied uses of vaseline
With the London marathon but a few days away the
chemists round the country will be doing a roaring
trade in the stuff
If you are going to haul your sorry carcass 26.2
miles (42.2 K) in one go you need more than a
pair of good running shoes…..
…..at least if you have gotten used to owning
a pair of nipples ! ! ! ! !
You see if you run / walk / crawl 42.2 K without
suitable protection for said erogenous zones…..
…..you won’t have them when you finish ! ! ! ! !
Rubbed off !
Your days as a wet T-shirt competitor over !
So marathon participants lube up the popular little
And not just the old nips ! ! ! !
To ward off painful chafing between the thighs and
the underarms as well
You get the picture
Of course, there are some folk who have discovered
that vaseline comes in useful in their love lives…
Easy tiger !
And, unusually some have discovered it comes in
useful as a means of revenge
Yes, REVENGE ! ! !
The G-man knows a young mother and her young son who
have an annoying dad
Said annoying dad is in the habit of applying vaseline
to his lips each day as part of his ablutionary routine
…..Trust me, you couldn’t make this up…..
…..Mum had to put her finger in her son’s bum…..
…..Then spying dad’s open jar of vaseline she poked
her finger in it
…..Then for good measure…..
…..she reached round and performed the same task on
…..then poked her finger in dad’s vaseline again
To this day this remains mum and son’s little secret
Every day when dad appears with glistening lips mum
and son glance knowingly at each other…..
…..and inwardly grin…..
…..probably howl with laughter…..
The G-ster knows one lady who goes to work with a smile
on her face every day !
That’s it !
No food, no drink this time
I’m in purdah (exams in a month’s time)
Monks get more action than me ! ! ! ! !