The Short on Everything edition

Lured by the big city and the bright lights…..

…..the G-man cruised up to London on Tuesday

…..for the Quintessentially Art Patron event

The word ‘art’ and the promise of champagne

and canapes usually does the trick  ! ! !

Quintessentially is a global concierge company…..

… other words they work for rich people who

are short on time and long on wants

But art patronage ? ! ?

The G-man was intrigued…..

Spotting one of the founders of the company, a

jolly relative of the Duchess of Cornwall called

Ben Elliot, the Groover decided to satisfy his


Attracting his attention he came across the room

It was probably the hat that did it…..

…..Bless the old bakerboy…..!

You know the saying ?

‘If you want to get ahead, get a hat’

On the other hand, it could have been something to do

with the frantic hand action

Introductions out of the way, I asked…..

‘Is this new scheme aimed at the inchoate culture vulture?’

His reply was a little unexpected…..

…..and a mite surprising…..

‘Err, what does inchoate mean? Look, I just own the company,

I don’t know what it does’


Short on something !

Now I know how we built the British Empire

Then he quickly excused himself, he had to make a short

speech to the crowded room


There must be a trick to making a speech about something

you don’t know anything about

Anyway, there was always the champagne (Perrier-Jouet)

…..and the canapes (various)

As another saying goes, ‘it’s not what you know, it’s who you


The G-man quickly made friends with the diminutive Maria

from Slovenia (all 4 foot 10 inches of her) who seemed

to be in charge of carrying the trays of canapes

Then every time she emerged with a fresh tray she made a

beeline for the ravenous G-man…..

… was like something straight out of an Ealing Comedy

…..she ignored the outstretched hands of hungry guests

…..she pretended not to hear their calls to her as she

brushed by them…..

…..and right to the G-spot…..

…..where the G-man waited like a hungry cuckoo

Bless her

Short, but not short of everything

Eventually the Perrier-Jouet ran out and was replaced by


Bad move

When you have been eating steak, you don’t switch to kebabs

The G-man left the building

Full (ish)

Home, James



The Tradition edition

Have you ever wondered what it would be like

to go back in time ?

Well the G-man has discovered a very simple trick

Head down to (the) Strand and dine at the India Club

You see, for seventy years since this eaterie opened…..

…..not much has changed

It is like stepping into colonial India…..

… entering a time warp

Well, the prices are not the same as in 1946 when it

first opened…..

…..for a start we are now decimalized !

…..but the portrait of Gandhi is still there…..

…..just a little faded these days

Originally this was a home from home for diplomats

and expatriates from the nearby High Commission

Now it provides sustenance for politicians, academics,

journalists and literati…..

… well as tourists, students and certified devotees

of their famed ‘chilli bhajis’ ! ! !

Since I first went there in the 1990s the establishment

has secured a liquor licence but in honour of the fact

that for half a century they didn’t have one you can still

take your own in and there is no corkage charge

On the other hand, you can also avail yourself of what

they have on offer…..

…..liqer…..strange but true

…..wodka….also strange but true

…..cok…..I am not making this up

…..etc etc

…..and all on one of those black and white letter price

boards from pubs in the 1970s

I kid you not, this place is wonderful…..

…..not exactly a hidden gem (it’s on the second floor)

…..more like finding a valuable first edition in a car boot sale

This is proper South Indian cuisine (whatever the hell that is)

Go there before it decides it needs a coat of paint and a


Go there while the waiters still wear little white jackets

Go there before it becomes another Starbucks

Go there for something authentic

Just GO

Nostalgically yours