The Cocktail edition

Alternate title: The Lux edition

The G-man leapt to his feet at the end of his Gothic lecture

last night and then hot-tubed it to Bond Street for…..

Sotheby’s Impressionist and Modern Art preview

The sale is today

Art collecting is the ultimate status symbol nowadays

Whereas anyone with £250,000 to spare can buy a Bentley

There will only be one lucky owner of Monet’s…………..

Le Grand Canal (English translation: The Grand Canal)…..

…..a view of a couple of gondolas bobbing around in Venice

That is……..

…..if you can outbid all the other hopefuls…..

…..Oh, and you have the little matter of £20,000,000 to

£30,000,000 (estimate) to pay for it

On top of which you have to tip Sotheby’s between £2,400,000

and £3,600,000 for the privilege of letting you buy it

Sotheby’s call this tip ‘the buyer’s premium’

No ?

Then what about a little bit of sapphic splendour ?

Toulouse Lautrec’s ‘Au lit: Le baiser’ ( In bed: The kiss)

Two birds having a tonsil tickle and a snip at £9-12 million…..

Oh…..and plus Sotheby’s little matter of that tip

It was all very impressive…..

…..and there is a secret thrill to knowing that when people

look at you they think you might be the collector who will

buy one of these masterpieces today…..

… other words…..


Now, of course, most of the people there were there for the

glamorous night out…..

Ruinart champagne

Exotic cocktails (with flowers floating on top)


All served up by the most beautiful boys and girls you have

ever seen………dozens of them ! ! ! ! !

Boys in dinner jackets and girls in LBDs

So if you ever wondered what models do between jobs ? ? ?

Now you know !

But it is a little unnerving when you walk in to be greeted

like an old friend by a couple of these model types…..

…..all glossy hair and cheesy smiles

No ! You don’t know me…..

…..but I understand someone is paying you to pretend you do

And anyway, I might have £30,000,000 to blow on a Monet so

I am worth sucking up to ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

All this lush life put him in the mood…..

From there the G-man shimmied down the road to Dukes Bar

in Dukes Hotel for London’s best cocktail…..

…..and the very best martini in the universe ! ! ! ! !

…..served by Alessandro direct from La Dolce Vita…..

…..complete with white jacket and bald head…..

It was just like being in a Bond movie ! ! ! ! !

Finally the fun had to come to an end…..

A little drunk…..

Definitely jolly…..

Possibly veering towards the fringes of libidinous…..

…..the G-man caught the 36 bus and went home !




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