It was a bright blue winter’s day yesterday
The G-man purchased a ticket for the ‘iron horse’ to London
Safely aboard the Hernia Bay flyer he sped towards the ‘smoke’
So far, so good
It remained cold and crisp and blue outside
Inside the train the G-man folded himself up with a good book
He had an 11am appointment with the No 2 G-ette to see her
So far, so very good
The plan was simple…..
…..Take the train to New Cross then…..
…..and walk the rest of the way or catch a bus if it
The skies remained clear and blue and a walk beckoned
So far, so very, very good
Then an announcement came over the intercom
‘This is the driver speaking’…..
…..’We will not be making any further stops because this
is a late running train’
He didn’t bother apologising…..
He didn’t need to
…..he had the controls ! ! ! ! !
‘This train will terminate at London Bridge’
‘HOLY FU*K’ …..I blurted out
Quite a few heads turned in the G-man’s direction
The 11am was looking like a forlorn hope
Midday was not even looking likely
It’s a slow haul into London Bridge and an even slower
haul back out to New Cross on another train or a bus
WHY ? ?
Well, the answer is simple…..
The regulator fines the train operator, South Eastern,
for late running trains
If you want to arrive on time and avoid the fine you just
don’t stop at the remaining train stations on the way in
Of course, my day was ruined
And of course, so were a few other peoples who wanted
to get off or on the train at the stations that were skipped
But it’s cheaper to buy us off even if we have the energy to
complain than to pay the regulator’s fines
WELCOME to the new and improved world of privatised
SEE, the consumer is better off…..
Less crowded trains…..NO
More reliable services…..NO
More modern trains…..NO
NO-THING ! ! ! ! !
I wish I had driven rather than…..
…..being driven mad by cheating train companies
I wish I had had the cajones to pull the emergency stop
lever at New Cross…..
…..and then calmly opened the doors and exited while
the driver tried to discover what was wrong
If only true life was more like the movies…..
I stayed sitting…..
Your humbled servant