A Fine Day For A Fine edition

groovers offside

It was a bright blue winter’s day yesterday

The G-man purchased a ticket for the ‘iron horse’ to London

Safely aboard the Hernia Bay flyer he sped towards the ‘smoke’

So far, so good

It remained cold and crisp and blue outside

Inside the train the G-man folded himself up with a good book

He had an 11am appointment with the No 2 G-ette to see her

new home

So far, so very good

The plan was simple…..

…..Take the train to New Cross then…..

…..hop off

…..and walk the rest of the way or catch a bus if it

was raining

The skies remained clear and blue and a walk beckoned

So far, so very, very good

Then an announcement came over the intercom

‘This is the driver speaking’…..

…..’We will not be making any further stops because this

is a late running train’

He didn’t bother apologising…..

He didn’t…

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A Fine Day For A Fine edition

It was a bright blue winter’s day yesterday

The G-man purchased a ticket for the ‘iron horse’ to London

Safely aboard the Hernia Bay flyer he sped towards the ‘smoke’

So far, so good

It remained cold and crisp and blue outside

Inside the train the G-man folded himself up with a good book

He had an 11am appointment with the No 2 G-ette to see her

new home

So far, so very good

The plan was simple…..

…..Take the train to New Cross then…..

…..hop off

…..and walk the rest of the way or catch a bus if it

was raining

The skies remained clear and blue and a walk beckoned

So far, so very, very good

Then an announcement came over the intercom

‘This is the driver speaking’…..

…..’We will not be making any further stops because this

is a late running train’

He didn’t bother apologising…..

He didn’t need to

…..he had the controls ! ! ! ! !

‘This train will terminate at London Bridge’

‘HOLY FU*K’ …..I blurted out

Quite a few heads turned in the G-man’s direction

The 11am was looking like a forlorn hope

Midday was not even looking likely

It’s a slow haul into London Bridge and an even slower

haul back out to New Cross on another train or a bus

Why ?

WHY ? ?

Well, the answer is simple…..

The regulator fines the train operator, South Eastern,

for late running trains

If you want to arrive on time and avoid the fine you just

don’t stop at the remaining train stations on the way in

Q.E.D.

Simple

Of course, my day was ruined

And of course, so were a few other peoples who wanted

to get off or on the train at the stations that were skipped

But it’s cheaper to buy us off even if we have the energy to

complain than to pay the regulator’s fines

WELCOME to the new and improved world of privatised

utilities

SEE, the consumer is better off…..

NOT !

More trains…..NO

Less crowded trains…..NO

More reliable services…..NO

More modern trains…..NO

NO-THING ! ! ! ! !

I wish I had driven rather than…..

…..being driven mad by cheating train companies

I wish I had had the cajones to pull the emergency stop

lever at New Cross…..

…..and then calmly opened the doors and exited while

the driver tried to discover what was wrong

If only true life was more like the movies…..

I stayed sitting…..

If only…..

Your humbled servant

G.

 

 

 

 

 

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