The Vintage edition

When the G-man hit forty, life was meant to get…..

…..Turbo-charged !

When the same reprobate hit fifty, they said fifty was

the new forty…..

Perfect !

I was getting younger, not older ! ! ! ! !

It carried on getting better…..

Sixty was the new fifty…..

Puuuurrrrfect !

This was ageing……

…..but not as we used to know it !

Then if someone had suggested you can still do one

thing like a rock star…..

…..Nobody would have believed them…..

…..Especially the

It’s nice to be wrong sometimes !

Anyway, vintage is as vintage does and Herne Bay has

gone old…..

If you ever get lost and find yourself in Herne Bay, don’t


Head straight to the High Street and…..

The Vintage Empire Tea Room…..

…..and straight back into war-time Britain

Vera Lynn on the sound system

Menus that are disguised as ration cards

Union Jack bunting everywhere

Windows that have been taped to stop bombs shattering


The high teas, cream teas and cakes are all quintessentially


Boiled eggs and buttered soldiers

Tunnocks tea cakes and caramel wafers

Even home-made bread pudding is on offer

There is a full-size mannequin dressed in army union complete

with gas mask

By now, you should have got the picture

Oh, and the average age of the average customer…..

…..about 80 !

Hang on, though !

Maybe eighty is the new sixty which means these wrinklies are

still socking it to each other

Best not to think about that ! ! !

The staff are dressed in forties attire…..

…..and a little cup on the counter by the till has a label attached

that says…..


Remember 1975 and Earth, Wind & Fire and their great single…..?

Yes, you guessed it, ‘Gratitude’

Well, I’m grateful for this new addition to the cultural fabric of

Hernia Bay………….

…..but rather less so for the other latest addition…..

The Pier Fish & Chips which has also just opened…..

It’s actually very good…..

…..the only problem is it’s the thirty third chippy in town

Herne Bay needs a lot of things…..

…..the two things it doesn’t need are another chippy or

another charity shop

Bless them for trying


ps, ‘Bargain Booze’ is due to open in the next few days to

help keep the burgeoning foreign community supplied with

cheap liquor

At least they are recycling their benefit money here rather

than sending it home !


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