The Mu edition

groovers offside

The title of this post is meant to intrigue…..

…..and all will be revealed later

The G.-man is now in full holiday mode and the

most difficult decision he has to make each day

is which pair of shorts to pull on…..

The best solutions always being the simplest…..

…..’Eeny meeny miny moe………’

Anyway, I was impressed to read that the famous

French writer, George Sand, described Bassano as…

…’a piece of heaven fallen on earth’

Her (yes, George was a she) most famous quote is

deserving of a full airing…..

‘There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved’

True to her motto (?) she did a lot of loving but that

doesn’t make her a bad person……

……just loose ! ! ! ! !

Back to Mu

The Italians had a moment of onomatopoeic brilliance

when they named the humble cow…..

…..mucca      …

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The Mu edition

The title of this post is meant to intrigue…..

…..and all will be revealed later

The G.-man is now in full holiday mode and the

most difficult decision he has to make each day

is which pair of shorts to pull on…..

The best solutions always being the simplest…..

…..’Eeny meeny miny moe………’

Anyway, I was impressed to read that the famous

French writer, George Sand, described Bassano as…

…’a piece of heaven fallen on earth’

Her (yes, George was a she) most famous quote is

deserving of a full airing…..

‘There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved’

True to her motto (?) she did a lot of loving but that

doesn’t make her a bad person……

……just loose ! ! ! ! !

Back to Mu

The Italians had a moment of onomatopoeic brilliance

when they named the humble cow…..

…..mucca       (mu…..cca)

Get it !

Now the latest fashion raging in La Dolve Vita is…..

‘Fai da te gelato’

‘Do it yourself icecream’ to you

It’s such a simple idea !

Why had no one thought of it before ? ? ? ? ?

Bassano certainly didn’t need another ice cream parlour

BUT this is a whole new world

Welcome to ‘Mu Mu’

Everything is coloured white and turquoise so it’s very

distinctive and jolly……

…..very Willy Wonker-ish

……including the nearly full size cow in the centre of the

shop

This is the drill…..

Select a receptacle (cone or cup)

Select an ice cream flavour (there are five levers)

Select your garnish (from chopped fresh seasonal fruits etc)

Weigh and pay

Everything is organic, biological, GMO-free, preservative free

and colouring free…..

…..so basically it’s healthy too !

Who would have thought that the Italians could invent ice cream

AGAIN !

G.

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The Wild Italia edition

Normally at this time of the year…..

The Sun has got his hat on and he’s outside playing

Take a butchers at the lyrics to the original song

published in 1932, written by Gay / Butler…..

…..and you will see we have come quite some way since

that post-peak spasm of Empire nonsense…..

…..or maybe NOT

Anyway, the heavens opened in July…..

…..and have remained firmly open ever since

It is like something out of Dante’s Purgatorio

It rains, it flashes, it thunders…..

…..or in local lingo: pioggia, fulmini, tuoni

Local folk whinge about it while secretly the G.-man is

happy…..

…..because he took a pre-trip pant down to the coast on

Saturday…..

…..it was hot, sunny, humid and a completely stupid

thing to do at noon

Like running in a lead suit

This calamitous error of school-boy proportions led to

two days holed up feeling sorry for himself…..

…..then whooshing down to Italia in Giulietta…..

…..at least she made interesting conversation

Is there a moral takeaway here ?

Yes !

A bit of rain won’t hurt you but a bit too much sun will

So here we are…..

…..Living off the land (metaphorically)

Let me give you a flavour…..

La Fonderia…..

….ice cream establishment to you

But the best ice cream to be found round here

They only use the fruits in season and local milk…..

That’s it !

They make creme (ice cream), sorbetti (sorbet) and cremolate

Cremolate ?

It looks like Bird’s Instant Whip…..

…..just tastes a zillion times better

They are so traditional they don’t even have a web site

This is the Groover’s kind of outfit

You know what they say, once you have had the real thing…

Takeaways:

Don’t run in the sun

The Italians invented ice cream and still make the best ice

cream in the world

The Fonderia makes the best cream locally

Slurp (that lick was fig which is currently in season)

G.

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The Ready To Renounce edition

groovers offside

During the nineteenth century a strong interest

in ‘primitive’ cultures developed largely as a

result of a reaction against industrialisation

…..and its attendant ills

This was why the painter Gauguin made a beeline

for Tahiti where he believed he would find unspoiled

folk enjoying a peaceful, harmonious existence

Well, he was nearly right !

The pacific isle provided him with the inspiration

to produce his greatest works…..

…..but also with countless teenage girls to despoil

Great artist…..

…..flawed human being

You have probably guessed where this is leading ?

Segue to London, 2014

Where we discover that our political class is full of

pedophiles…..

…..and those that aren’t cover up for those that are !

It’s no good our elder statesman (Tebbit) saying that

when he was in power there was a feeling that it was more

important to preserve the ‘establishment’ than to see the

law being followed !

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The Ready To Renounce edition

During the nineteenth century a strong interest

in ‘primitive’ cultures developed largely as a

result of a reaction against industrialisation

…..and its attendant ills

This was why the painter Gauguin made a beeline

for Tahiti where he believed he would find unspoiled

folk enjoying a peaceful, harmonious existence

Well, he was nearly right !

The pacific isle provided him with the inspiration

to produce his greatest works…..

…..but also with countless teenage girls to despoil

Great artist…..

…..flawed human being

You have probably guessed where this is leading ?

Segue to London, 2014

Where we discover that our political class is full of

pedophiles…..

…..and those that aren’t cover up for those that are !

It’s no good our elder statesman (Tebbit) saying that

when he was in power there was a feeling that it was more

important to preserve the ‘establishment’ than to see the

law being followed !

Did Norman Tebbit just suspend his moral compass because

everyone seemed to be suspending theirs

Shame…..Shame…..and shame again

In the G.-book of ethics and morals those that know and

don’t speak up are as culpable as those that do the deed

At least Gauguin had an excuse (genius) and at least he

only dabbled with the opposite sex and at least he wasn’t

pretending to run a country !

Finally from the criminal to the insane…..

Canterbury County Council’s bin men will only empty one

wheelie bin per fortnight

The G.-man has two such bins but if he leaves two out

only one will be emptied…..

Light bulb moment ! ! ! ! ! ! !

The Casa Groover has an ‘in and ‘out’ drive…..

…..separated by about 100 metres…..

What if…..

So the Groover leaves one bin at the ‘in’ entrance

and the other at the ‘out’ exit

It works like a treat every time !

Fortunately the bin men can’t read or write…..

…..otherwise they would see that each bin is clearly

marked up ‘Glendalough’…..

…..Casa Groover’s postal address…..

Once upon a time Britain was Great

We invented tennis, football, rugby and cricket

We ruled a third of the world’s population and all of

its waves (remember the pink bits ?)

That was then and this is now

If I could sell my citizenship I would…..

…..there are, however, probably no takers…..

You see, the UK Government gives them away as fast as

they can print them

If I could paint I would probably try Tahiti

G.

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The It’s Not Fair edition

groovers offside

‘Life isn’t fair; it’s just fairer than death and that’s all’

The very great and very wise William Goodman made that up

Ed Miliband has been droning on about fairness for so long

we are just about sick of fair

Anyway, it would have been far fairer if David, as clever as

ever, had got the Labour top job and not Tim, nice but dim, Ed

Last week and this, London hosted its greatest art show…..

Masterpiece

http://www.masterpiecefair.com

The fair in the name is a classic misnomer…..

There is nothing fair about this !

Dealers hike their prices by 25% and hope some ‘stupidly rich’

foreigner will pay the wrong inflated price

Worse still, they have no qualms about bemoaning the clients

that don’t wish to pay the wrong inflated prices in order to

build a decent collection…..

I wonder if Michael Goedhuis (dealer / charlatan) in Asian art

is…

View original post 294 more words

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The It’s Not Fair edition

‘Life isn’t fair; it’s just fairer than death and that’s all’

The very great and very wise William Goodman made that up

Ed Miliband has been droning on about fairness for so long

we are just about sick of fair

Anyway, it would have been far fairer if David, as clever as

ever, had got the Labour top job and not Tim, nice but dim, Ed

Last week and this, London hosted its greatest art show…..

Masterpiece

http://www.masterpiecefair.com

The fair in the name is a classic misnomer…..

There is nothing fair about this !

Dealers hike their prices by 25% and hope some ‘stupidly rich’

foreigner will pay the wrong inflated price

Worse still, they have no qualms about bemoaning the clients

that don’t wish to pay the wrong inflated prices in order to

build a decent collection…..

I wonder if Michael Goedhuis (dealer / charlatan) in Asian art

is prepared to pay similar premiums for the goods he needs…..

…..Is it fair, Michael ? ? ? ? ?

No, I didn’t think so ! ! ! ! !

On a lighter moment, the G.-moll was on top form (Again !)

At the entrance she spied the urbane celebrity, Peter York

Remember him ?

He co-wrote ‘The Official Sloane Ranger Handbook’…..

He was always on the telly …..

‘Ah’, she exclaimed loudly, right in front of him, ‘It’s him !’

We all looked quizzically at her…..

‘You know, it’s what-his-face’

We were still none the wiser…..

? ? ? ? ?

Still looking for some light to be shone on the mystery…..

…..She finally blurted out…..

‘You know, Yorky, that Sloaney fella’

We all looked embarrassed and tried to avoid his gaze

The G.-moll didn’t give up easily…..

…..’He’s flattered really’, she added somewhat cautiously

Looking directly at us Yorky added the memorable words from

popular urban culture…..

‘Yes, I’m flattered…..Not’ ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Not a good day for the G.-moll…..

…..but it was about to get worse !

After the event we repaired to a nearby Italian cafe…..

La Bottega…..

…..where she looked in her bag and realised her

wallet had been stolen while her bag had been in the

Masterpiece cloakroom

…..but her day was about to get even worse than that !

Back to the art fair and the security people were summoned

…..all to no avail…..

…..it would seem that Masterpiece accept no responsibility

for the criminal activities of their employees…..

…..Nice…..

…..Truly enlightened…..

If you think that makes sense then my name is Donald Duck

If you think that is fair then my name is Daisy Duck

Fair ?

Well, fairly rubbish

G.

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