What is a camel ?
Answers on an e-card please
To the G.-man’s brother it is a variety of cancer sticks
To the Australians it represents a pest
To an Arab it might represent a possibility for a romantic interlude
To a Blair-hater it affords an opportunity to give him a very apt
moniker after a camel’s famous body part
To the lucky diners at Tarragon in Cheltenham it presents itself as
a (surprisingly) tasty dish
What ! ! ! ! !
Yes, strange but true
Yep, last night the Groover got munching on camel…..
Now by the time it arrived at the table on a plate it wasn’t possible
to say whether this was the…..
Bactrian or dromedarian variety…..
…..farmed or feral ?
Who would have thought that the humble camel would have become
a literary hero (or heroine) ? ? ? ? ?
No, not Laurence of Arabia !
Anyway, that was a straightforward love affair ! ! !
‘The Towers of Trebizond’ by Rose Macaulay, 1956…..
…..English wit and wisdom at its very best
‘The Camel’ by Lord Berners, 1936…..
…..more English wit and wisdom (plus a whiff of sexual chemistry !)
So how did it come to pass that a large even-toed ungulate slipped
down the G.ullet last night ? ? ?
Apparently, and this was news to me, camels were imported into
Australia in the nineteenth century as sand-loving beasts of burden
…..then made redundant as trucks were invented in the twentieth
…..and subsequently released into the outback…..
…..where they copulated like rabbits and spread like wildfire
Now they are regularly culled, shipped around the world and end
up on plates as far-flung as Montpellier, Cheltenham…..
‘Chunky camel tagine’…..not the most imaginatively-named dish
But tasty as hell !
Oh, as for the Blair reference…..
…..just think of the hairy humper’s body part you are least likely
to eat !
There ! You’ve got it !
Anthony Charles Lynton Blair, 1953-, War criminal
…..or perhaps not