The Lardy edition

If you have never eaten Lardy cake then…..

… coin a phrase…..

…..’you haven’t lived’

This is a delicacy (probably not the best descriptor)…..

…that is found in some of the southern counties of England

…that goes by a variety of different aliases

…that each county claims to have the best and most original


…but that all have one common denominator…..

… is heaven on a tray in a bakery’s shop window !

The G.-man was on ‘mum-sitting’ duty in the depths of

Gloucestershire when out on a sortie to buy the daily

paper for said mum he was stopped dead in his tracks

Baker ahoy !

A fully loaded tray of Lardy cake…..!

Halleluja !

…..fighting back the temptation to lob a brick through

the window and make off with the lot…..

…..he strode in and bought a box full…..

…..then whizzed home as excited as a turkey that’s just

heard that Christmas has been cancelled

This food heaven is described as…..

…..’oozing with goo’ by the baker’s plastic label

Bless their alliterative cotton socks ! ! ! ! !

Anyway it’s made by layering rolled layers of dough with





and eaten as a treat on high days with tea or coffee

As you have probably guessed it could be force-fed to an

anorexic for a week and probably result in the addition of

2-3 stones (14-42lbs)

It’s not actually possible to measure the calorific content…..

…..a powerful enough machine is yet to be invented !

But before you recoil in horror…..

… aware that the Queen serves it at her summer garden


…..and if it’s good enough for Betty…..

…’s good enough for the Groove-meister ! ! !

One last thing…..

…..this must not be eaten every day…..

… I said, ‘high days’ and festivals (harvest) etc

…..if you choose to ignore this advice I can assure you

…..when you (boys) look down in the shower…..

… will not be able to see ‘Mr Man’

… (girls) should definitely not be asking the question…..

…..’does my bum look big in this ?’

Buon appetito !



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