The Dog edition

groovers offside

Alternate title: The G-man goes grande in Italia

To coin a phrase…..

…..a funny thing happened on the way…..

…..to Vicenza on the train in this instance

There he was, the G.-man leaning back soaking up

the sunshine and dreaming of all things Italian…..

…..When !

Woof !

Then a WOOF ! ! !

Holy macaroni ! ! ! ! !

The four-legged furry friend on his owners lap across

the aisle was looking straight at me…..

…..Ears cocked

On the other side of me the G-moll giggled…..

…..the furry friend’s best friends smiled approvingly

Feeling very pleased with herself, the G-moll casually

announced…..

‘I do a very authentic dog bark’

What had just happened ?

Was the G-moll harbouring dark, canine secrets ?

Or was it just an unusual case of aspergers ?

Fortunately our fellow travellers were getting off and

the G-moll reverted to English

It was a…

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The Dog edition

Alternate title: The G-man goes grande in Italia

To coin a phrase…..

…..a funny thing happened on the way…..

…..to Vicenza on the train in this instance

There he was, the G.-man leaning back soaking up

the sunshine and dreaming of all things Italian…..

…..When !

Woof !

Then a WOOF ! ! !

Holy macaroni ! ! ! ! !

The four-legged furry friend on his owners lap across

the aisle was looking straight at me…..

…..Ears cocked

On the other side of me the G-moll giggled…..

…..the furry friend’s best friends smiled approvingly

Feeling very pleased with herself, the G-moll casually

announced…..

‘I do a very authentic dog bark’

What had just happened ?

Was the G-moll harbouring dark, canine secrets ?

Or was it just an unusual case of aspergers ?

Fortunately our fellow travellers were getting off and

the G-moll reverted to English

It was a very surreal moment but it actually got a little

weirder…..

…..Noticing my savoir faire was slightly shaken she

followed up with…..

‘I can do cats, too’

She never told me this at the interview ! ! !

Bless her

Anyway, Vicenza was beautiful and a few days spent in

the restorative embrace of the world’s only truly Palladian

city was a wonder

Back in Kent now…..

…..and back to dogs

Nigel Farage happens to come from the same hamlet that

the G.-man lives in…..

Having built a career nipping at the heels of the big boys ‘Nige’

suddenly finds himself being hounded by Fleet Street…..

…..but if you surround yourself with nitwits…..

…..you are leaving the goal wide open

If did, however, provide one of the most comical moments in

recent political history…..

…..namely good old Nige trying (and failing) to justify employing

his German wife as his (very well paid) assistant

Bless him

He still gets my vote

G.

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The Oslo edition

Not quite what you think…..

The G.-man has been having fun but right here and 

not there

Last night he shimmied down to London’s latest and

funkiest…..

The Oslo Hackney

http://www.oslohackney.com

With the No. 1 G.-ette in tow and clutching two precious

tickets to Nick Waterhouse (it was sold out) in his sweaty mitt

…..it was a case of…..

Get Ready, The Temptations, 1966………………

…..to get that groove going

But you can’t cut shapes on the dance floor without fuel

So food first !

Two medium rare Oslo burgers later and a dip into a Winter Berry

trifle (I had never heard of it so I just dived straight in)…..

…..all eased down the gullet with Oslo’s own brand of beer…..

…..and it was time

This is a great venue…..Small (the capital S is deliberate) and

intimate (more on this later)

Anyway the venue is located in Hackney Central…..

…..Beard Central would be closer to the mark

The place was awash with hirsute revellers…..

…..very glad I was sporting the retro sidies…..

…..but definitely not a good spot if you feel follically challenged

Also not a place to turn up in your M&S best…..

…..these folk were achingly trendy…..

…..there was plenty of yester-year gear going on…..

Well the No. 1 G-ette goes 1940s (she looked great)

The Groover had to settle for a black Harrington jacket (with

obligatory red-check lining and a pair of Harbor Masters)…..

…..and, of course, the aforementioned sidies (long and curly)

Back to the fun……

Nick Waterhouse is a revelation…….

……living proof that white boys can sing soul

He had a driving rhythm that was powerful and infectious

His band was great too……

…..even if they looked a little like a cross between the ‘Blues

Brothers’ and the residents of ‘One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s

Nest’ on their outing with Jack-the lad-Nicholson…..

…..all except for the swaying back up singer with the mean

line in cymbals…………….

……..Hmmm……..

……..she had great rhythm……..

…..and…..

…..was clearly designed to divert attention from the rest of the 

motley crew of a band

(I did secretly like the Holly Golightly 

look alike on tenor sax……Now, that is sexy ! ! !)

Either way, they were very cool

Check this cat out…..www.nickwaterhouse.com

…..or just ‘youtube’ him…..

…..he won’t mind !

I was amused to notice that on the tube home I was the only

person not buried in a device

What ever happened to people watching ? ? ? ? ?

At least the G-moll stayed up to greet me with my bedtime cocoa

Bless

G.

ps, Did I mention the back up singer had great rhythm ?

Ahh, I thought I would have !

 

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The Fine edition (version 2)

groovers offside

Fine is not a ten dollar word…..

…..it is simply a short word that is easy to spell…..

…..and…..

…..carries more than one meaning

Hemingway (Ernesto to his friends) liked to use it a lot

precisely because he eschewed the use of the higher

denomination variety

The Scots can’t spell it or just want to do everything

differently from their southern neighbours and so they

settle for the (Gaelic) variant ‘fyne’

The urban ‘yoof’ of today also use ‘fyne’ to describe a

member of the female of the species that is so ‘hot’ she

has caused the ‘i’ to morph into a ‘y’

Well all this is well and fine…..

…..but the G-man is troubled by the explosion in the use of

fines as another form of tax…..

…..the definition of tax is ‘revenue harvesting’ so…..

…..if you (read government official) can identify those areas

where folk traditionally operate in arrears

View original post 339 more words

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The Fine edition (version 2)

Fine is not a ten dollar word…..

…..it is simply a short word that is easy to spell…..

…..and…..

…..carries more than one meaning

Hemingway (Ernesto to his friends) liked to use it a lot

precisely because he eschewed the use of the higher

denomination variety

The Scots can’t spell it or just want to do everything

differently from their southern neighbours and so they

settle for the (Gaelic) variant ‘fyne’

The urban ‘yoof’ of today also use ‘fyne’ to describe a

member of the female of the species that is so ‘hot’ she

has caused the ‘i’ to morph into a ‘y’

Well all this is well and fine…..

…..but the G-man is troubled by the explosion in the use of

fines as another form of tax…..

…..the definition of tax is ‘revenue harvesting’ so…..

…..if you (read government official) can identify those areas

where folk traditionally operate in arrears

…..then FINE them for being late…..

…..Job done !

…..or should I simply say…..

…..TAXED !

For example…..

…..Car tax

Since time immemorial the great British driver has had a 14 day

grace period in which to renew his / her car tax

…..Not any more

…..Read the small print

…..If you don’t tax your wheels before the expiry of your tax disc

…..you get fined

…..If you don’t intend to tax your wheels again and you don’t say

so before the expiry of your tax disc

…..you get fined

This is absolutely not fine

The G.-moll is fine but that is another matter…..

…..’She’s so fine’, Jackie Wilson, 1957

Where is the Groover going with this ?

Easy

Give us back Ernie’s favourite word

Call a spade a spade…..

…..and call a tax a tax

Don’t pretend a tax is something else by calling it a fine

Anyway, the G.-moll whisked the G.-man off to ‘Il Baretto’

to celebrate his name day on Monday

‘ilbaretto.co.uk’

…..under the supervision of executive chef Frankie the Cat…..

…..Franco Gatto…..

…..this authentic Italian eaterie dishes up ‘fine’ Italian food

….served with ‘fine’ Italian wine

…..in a setting so dim (dark actually) you could take a date

there who was ‘not fine’ and not notice

It was fun but the G.-man could have done without the

disdainful Italian management of said eaterie…..

…..I suppose if I happened to be a free spending, big tipping

Russian said management would have fawned over me and

the G.-moll

It is definitely not fine that I am treated like a foreigner in my

own country (by foreigners who would prefer to serve other

foreigners !)

Fine ? ? ?

NO, it’s not bloody Fine ! ! !

G.

PS I notice the E.U. is fining Britain for exceeding its

permitted pollution limits…..

…..Errrrrrrr

…..Industrial pollution blows across the channel from

Europe and blasts us through our upper limits…..

…..then they fine us ! ! ! ! !

Can’t we blow it back and dodge the fine ?

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