The ‘F’ Word edition

It’s not going to be what you think…..

You automatically assume I am talking about the 4

letter ‘F’ word…..

When in reality I am going to bang on about the 3

letter ‘F’ word

Of course, if you were a Septic or familiar with

Septic TV and Hollywood you will probably have heard

both of them used together…..

Basically one of these is a good ‘F’ word and one is

a bad ‘F’ word

One you would want to avoid at all costs…..

…..and one you (should) want all the time !

You ought to be nearly there by now…………..

…..if not, don’t give up just yet !

Reminder ! ! ! ! !

Grooversoffside is about food, wine and diversions !

So last Saturday…..

…..acting on a tip-off

…The G.-man hove over to Miles Butchers in Beltinge

The tip had been that the county’s best pasties were to

be found there

Half a dozen pasties I chirruped

Miles (the butcher) if that was his name looked a

little deflated…..

Sorry, mate, Sold out he said

But it’s only 10am I blurted !

Some geezer just came in and cleaned me out, must be

‘avin’ a party, he replied

Took the all the sausage rolls n’all, he added

I spied some scotch eggs !

Yes ! ! ! ! !

The bloke missed the eggs, I’ll take a couple

The Groover wasn’t going to leave empty-handed

Then Miles spoke the words of love…..

…..all made on the premises

… processed food here

(YES ! ! ! ! !)

… missus makes ’em all, pasties, scotch eggs,

the lot !

What about the Spitfire sausages, I enquired

No, I make them myself, he explained, Man’s work !

Only he had stopped using Shepherd Neame beer and

switched to Goody’s ales because……

Shepherd’s had screwed over the inventor of Spitfire


Blimey !

A butcher with a social conscience !

Then I noticed his fingers were as big as the Spitfire


… other words…..


I guess it must come with the territory !

Anyway if you eschew processed food and eat from proper

establishments like Miles Butchers…..

No one will end up calling you a ‘fat fuck’

…..and now you know what the bad and the good ‘F’

words are




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