This probably looks like an ironic title bearing in mind it
was written by an ex-banker…..
…..at least bankers are (generally) smarter than the average
…..at least they are more slippery then the average eel and
therefore harder to catch !
…..the same cannot be said of the miscreants who unsuccessfully
tried a house invasion on Casa Groover
Said miscreants brilliantly managed to give the forensic department
of the police force a ‘professional orgasm’ ! ! ! ! !
They succeeded in leaving behind for the guardians of law
the following clues to their identity…..
A blood sample where they cut themselves on the window climbing
Several perfect fingerprints on the glass panes
Half a dozen footprints on the carpet
There you have it, the Holy Trinity of the clue world !
This could only have been topped by leaving behind a stripey
sweater with the miscreants name sewn carefully into the collar !
Whirling into action like dervishes the forces of the local
constabulary have identified one of the felons who was arrested
this afternoon and is now destined to spend New Year’s Eve
enjoying the concrete walls of a police cell
Lucky lad (it was a male of the species)
Pity it’s not Turkey……..
…..where he might have expected a visit from the hairy, sweaty
jailhouse attendant looking to satisfy his homoerotic carnal
desires (remember ‘Midnight Express’?)
Pity Christmas has past, I could have added that to my chrissy
Good prevails over evil !
The G.-man was offered counselling by the investigating officer
at the time of the discovery
Counselling ? the Groover inquired
Yes, said the officer. If I was traumatised by the events surrounding
the break-in a nice lady from the social services side of the police
department would be in contact with me to help through it……
Then out it came………………
Is she good looking ? the Groover asked
There was an astonished silence ! ! !
Just kidding, I added to allay their fears
If you can’t see the funny side of life in the face of adversity
you have no right to belong to the ‘Worshipful company of
Groovers and Hipsters’
p.s. If the miscreants had spent less time watching ‘Youporn’
and more time watching CSI they might still be at liberty !