The Crime Doesn’t Pay edition

This probably looks like an ironic title bearing in mind it

was written by an ex-banker…..

… least bankers are (generally) smarter than the average

bear !

… least they are more slippery then the average eel and

therefore harder to catch !

…..the same cannot be said of the miscreants who unsuccessfully

tried a house invasion on Casa Groover

Said miscreants brilliantly managed to give the forensic department

of the police force a ‘professional orgasm’ ! ! ! ! !

They succeeded in leaving behind for the guardians of law

the following clues to their identity…..

A blood sample where they cut themselves on the window climbing


Several perfect fingerprints on the glass panes

Half a dozen footprints on the carpet

There you have it, the Holy Trinity of the clue world !

This could only have been topped by leaving behind a stripey

sweater with the miscreants name sewn carefully into the collar !

Whirling into action like dervishes the forces of the local

constabulary have identified one of the felons who was arrested

this afternoon and is now destined to spend New Year’s Eve

enjoying the concrete walls of a police cell

Lucky lad (it was a male of the species)

Pity it’s not Turkey……..

…..where he might have expected a visit from the hairy, sweaty

jailhouse attendant looking to satisfy his homoerotic carnal

desires (remember ‘Midnight Express’?)

Pity Christmas has past, I could have added that to my chrissy

list !


Good prevails over evil !

The G.-man was offered counselling by the investigating officer

at the time of the discovery

Counselling ? the Groover inquired

Yes, said the officer. If I was traumatised by the events surrounding

the break-in a nice lady from the social services side of the police

department would be in contact with me to help through it……


Then out it came………………

Is she good looking ? the Groover asked

There was an astonished silence ! ! !

Just kidding, I added to allay their fears

If you can’t see the funny side of life in the face of adversity

you have no right to belong to the ‘Worshipful company of

Groovers and Hipsters’


p.s. If the miscreants had spent less time watching ‘Youporn’

and more time watching CSI they might still be at liberty !


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