The Looking For Big Joe edition, Part 2

Alternate title: Herne Bay, Motobility Scooter Town

Detroit can ‘read it and weep’

Hernie has 35000 Hernites…

…and 6000 registered motobility scooters

Of course, there are some folk with more than one…

…as in your everyday one…

…and your one for best !

For church on Sunday ?

For dates ?

Probably just a spare so you can always be on the move

Anyway, day 2 and no sign of Big Joe

No worries, he will show up

Eventually !

There has been a little muttering regarding the G.-man’s

‘homoerotic near miss’…..

…..along the lines of Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act III, Scene II…

…’methinks, he doth protest too much’

Look, it was back in 1976 and it lasted approximately

8 nanoseconds

Let me help you with the arithmetic………

…..that is 8 billionths of a second

Some rainbow warriors would claim they all count…..

….well, ‘Good night, and good luck’, 2005

I digress…..

The Groover decided to try and insinuate himself into Hernie

life today…..

…..a stroll down to the promenade and thirty minutes sat

watching the sun set with a takeaway from the LEGENDARY…

‘Shakey Shakey Traditional Fish and Chips’

Regular chips and curry sauce

Hmmmmmmm

Well, perhaps not

Even the seagulls couldn’t be bothered to pester me

But this establishment is hugely popular as attested by the

string of mobility scooters lined up outside

The G.-man would struggle to pass himself off as a local…..

…..no tattoos !

…..and at 6ft 1 and 14 stone I would look like I was suffering

from anorexia to the average Hernite !

Back to moby-scooters…..

They come with lights and indicators for night time forays to…..

…..probably the ‘offy’ or the take away

There are 23 chippies, 14 Chinese, 11 Indians and 6 kebab joints

Oh, and 9 offys

…..and that’s just in the centre of town

The moby-scooters come with sound systems so the driver can tear

down the pavement with ‘Wild Thing’, The Troggs, 1966, blasting

out of the speakers

It’s a simple fact of life that ‘hells moby-scooter angels’

represent a larger risk to life and limb and your general

well being than a British coalition government !

G.

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The Looking For Big Joe edition

groovers offside

(Part 1)

A very cool cat who read the last post asked why I

didn’t get Big Joe’s number so we could become pals

The answer is simple…..

…..it’s weird enough asking a man if he’s Reggie Perrin

…..it’s a weird too far to ask him for his tel. no. when

he’s stripped down to his speedos !

I rest my case ! !

Our paths will cross again, for sure ! ! !

Segueing away from homoerotic near misses…..

Let’s get back to food and alcohol and all of those

other of life’s essentials…..

The perfect decadent night in ? ? ?

A good question…..

…..and this is the G.-man’s attempt at answering it…..

A bottle of red wine (a 2006 Brunello di Montalcino by Fanti

should do the trick), a large piece of cheese (Sussex), a DVD

and last but not least a co-conspirator with which to do it…..

The venue ?

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The Looking For Big Joe edition

(Part 1)

A very cool cat who read the last post asked why I

didn’t get Big Joe’s number so we could become pals

The answer is simple…..

…..it’s weird enough asking a man if he’s Reggie Perrin

…..it’s a weird too far to ask him for his tel. no. when

he’s stripped down to his speedos !

I rest my case ! !

Our paths will cross again, for sure ! ! !

Segueing away from homoerotic near misses…..

Let’s get back to food and alcohol and all of those

other of life’s essentials…..

The perfect decadent night in ? ? ?

A good question…..

…..and this is the G.-man’s attempt at answering it…..

A bottle of red wine (a 2006 Brunello di Montalcino by Fanti

should do the trick), a large piece of cheese (Sussex), a DVD

and last but not least a co-conspirator with which to do it…..

The venue ?

A bed ? ? ?

Quite a fantasy, I’m sure you’ll agree ?

Meanwhile back on planet Earth…..

…..and back within the bounds of possibility would have to

be an evening at ‘The Cheese Box’ in Whitstable

http://www.thecheesebox.co.uk

By day a cheese shop serving the best of English cheese

By night (Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays) it is a spot

where you can indulge in a plate of cheeses, a bottle of

wine (or beer) and a cosy atmosphere

Candles, really good music, nice vibe……….

…..and the heady aroma of the land of a 1000 cheeses

This represents a lighter (and more fun) alternative to

the classic evening out with 3 courses and a lot of hope !

The ‘madrone’ is living testimony to the benefits of a

little wine, a little cheese and a little sensory stimulation

…..but now I’m straying back into fantasy territory

…..and Big Joe ?

I think it safe to assume that an invitation to a fondue

party would be about as popular as a poo in a pool !

…..Beer, steak or a burger and apple pie

Bless

G.

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The Old Boys edition

groovers offside

This morning I took the constitutional pant down to

the sea

The Groover puffs along the shore to the lifeboat station and

stops at a set of stairs down to the beach, catches his

breath and then heads back

So far, so simple…..

Except this morning there was a man getting undressed

at the stairs…..

…..into his swimming togs

As a creature of habit the G.-man didn’t want to break the

routine…..

…..but going up to a man taking his kit off definitely qualified

as a bit weird

‘Is your name Reginald Perrin?’ I asked

‘No, I’m Joe’, he drawled

A Texan in Hernia Bay !

This was going from weird to surreal ! !

Then he stuck out a big paw and proceeded to crush

the G.-mitt

They say everything in Texas is big…..

Big Joe was certainly that

Feeling like a little social intercourse I tried…

‘Cowboys or…

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