The Sex, Drugs And Rock n’ Roll edition

Alternate Title: The Looking For Big Joe edition, Part 7

Still no sign of the big fella !

But when the G-man blasted down to the sea this morning as

part of the early morning ritual he noticed some Hernies…

…also enjoying their early morning ritual…..

…..except in their case the ritual came out of a can bought

from Tesco Express over the road

and it says 10% on the side of said tinny

Tesco don’t really help the situation…..

…..the booze section is not discreetly tucked away at

the back as in the US

…..No, Tescos make it the first aisle you see when you look

in the door

Temptation ?

This is like letting a paedophile walk past the entrance to a school

Social irresponsibility ? ? ?

Tescos certainly know what they are doing…..

…..they post a burly security guard beside the door

… tackle the thirsty ‘grab and flee’ merchants

You couldn’t make this up !

The guard is not there to stop old grannies making off with a loaf

of bread !

So that’s the ‘drug’ in the title of this post

The ‘sex’ ?

It certainly goes on…..

… else would the teenage girls get a baby to get on the

social security gravy train ?

The rock n’ roll ?

Perhaps a little mood music to get him all revved up …..

…..or some serious heavy metal to drown out his grunting (the

expression ‘a wart hog in distress’ springs to mind)

Then having safely ensured the future of the human species the

boys and girls get back to the serious business of drinking

themselves to death !


How do we break this vicious cycle ?

Ban alcohol ? ? ?


The septics tried it, prohibition didn’t work

The answer must be ration cards


21 units per male per week

14 units per female per week

These are the recommended safe maximums

Exceptions only to be made for students involved in boat races

and any sporting event that uses alcohol

Now this introduces some very interesting dynamic possibilities…..

The trading of alcohol allowances for favours within the household…

Hmmm…..the mind boggles just thinking about it !

And the selling of alcohol should be nationalised just like in Sweden

Yes, in theory this would damage the state purse through lower


Ahh…but !

The state would actually be better off overall because they would

make all the money from retailing the stuff and…..

…..the state wouldn’t have to look after folk who get sick with

alcohol-related diseases or the other problems that are caused by

excess alcohol like traffic accidents

So there it is…..

Groover’s 2-point plan to clean up Britain’s alcohol problem

Of course there is always a loser to every winner…..

… the Tesco guard would probably find himself out of a job

Sorry mate, but it’s a small price to pay to help put the ‘Great’

back in Britain




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