Alternate Title: The Looking For Big Joe edition, Part 7
Still no sign of the big fella !
But when the G-man blasted down to the sea this morning as
part of the early morning ritual he noticed some Hernies…
…also enjoying their early morning ritual…..
…..except in their case the ritual came out of a can bought
from Tesco Express over the road
and it says 10% on the side of said tinny
Tesco don’t really help the situation…..
…..the booze section is not discreetly tucked away at
the back as in the US
…..No, Tescos make it the first aisle you see when you look
in the door
This is like letting a paedophile walk past the entrance to a school
Social irresponsibility ? ? ?
Tescos certainly know what they are doing…..
…..they post a burly security guard beside the door
…..to tackle the thirsty ‘grab and flee’ merchants
You couldn’t make this up !
The guard is not there to stop old grannies making off with a loaf
of bread !
So that’s the ‘drug’ in the title of this post
The ‘sex’ ?
It certainly goes on…..
…..how else would the teenage girls get a baby to get on the
social security gravy train ?
The rock n’ roll ?
Perhaps a little mood music to get him all revved up …..
…..or some serious heavy metal to drown out his grunting (the
expression ‘a wart hog in distress’ springs to mind)
Then having safely ensured the future of the human species the
boys and girls get back to the serious business of drinking
themselves to death !
How do we break this vicious cycle ?
Ban alcohol ? ? ?
The septics tried it, prohibition didn’t work
The answer must be ration cards
ALCO RATION CARDS !!!!!
21 units per male per week
14 units per female per week
These are the recommended safe maximums
Exceptions only to be made for students involved in boat races
and any sporting event that uses alcohol
Now this introduces some very interesting dynamic possibilities…..
The trading of alcohol allowances for favours within the household…
Hmmm…..the mind boggles just thinking about it !
And the selling of alcohol should be nationalised just like in Sweden
Yes, in theory this would damage the state purse through lower
The state would actually be better off overall because they would
make all the money from retailing the stuff and…..
…..the state wouldn’t have to look after folk who get sick with
alcohol-related diseases or the other problems that are caused by
excess alcohol like traffic accidents
So there it is…..
Groover’s 2-point plan to clean up Britain’s alcohol problem
Of course there is always a loser to every winner…..
…..so the Tesco guard would probably find himself out of a job
Sorry mate, but it’s a small price to pay to help put the ‘Great’
back in Britain