This morning I took the constitutional pant down to
The Groover puffs along the shore to the lifeboat station and
stops at a set of stairs down to the beach, catches his
breath and then heads back
So far, so simple…..
Except this morning there was a man getting undressed
at the stairs…..
…..into his swimming togs
As a creature of habit the G.-man didn’t want to break the
…..but going up to a man taking his kit off definitely qualified
as a bit weird
‘Is your name Reginald Perrin?’ I asked
‘No, I’m Joe’, he drawled
A Texan in Hernia Bay !
This was going from weird to surreal ! !
Then he stuck out a big paw and proceeded to crush
They say everything in Texas is big…..
Big Joe was certainly that
Feeling like a little social intercourse I tried…
‘Cowboys or Oilers?’
‘Oilers’ as it happened
‘Say, what did you say your name is? I can’t remember what I
had for breakfast these days’, he added
The Groover told him and then confirmed his…..
‘And you’re Ted, right?’
Holy Shmoly !
Alzheimer’s was looming into sight for this pair of old boys
…at least the Texan good old boy had age on his side…..
…..mid-late 60s !
The G.-man…..Well, too much of something !
Then big Joe whipped off his T to expose the torso of a
Holy Shmoly ! ! !
In fact, he may have been one once but this present version
of homo sapiens was on account of his penchant for sea-swimming
Yep, big Joe was just about to step into the big blue yonder…
…alright, the brown choppy Channel
Then with The Beach Boys playing in the headphones of his
‘aqua-iPod’ he would swim laterally along the shore…..
…..backwards and forwards…..
‘California Girls, 1965’ et al
…..until it was time to step out looking a bit like Daniel Craig
in a Bond moment
…..hopefully he can remember his way home
Go Joe !
ps, I did explain the Reggie Perrin question before I left (The Rise
and Fall of Reginald Perrin, 1976-79, BBC)…..Big Joe had never
asked, he must just assume the English are eccentric ! ! ! ! !